2014: The year of the square foot

What do you get when you combine a small suburban lot with massively overgrown pine trees, a neighbor's tree that hangs over the property line, another neighbor's small fur planted directly to the east blocking the first four hours of morning sunlight, and sandy soil that will barely hold moisture and packs as hard as concrete after good rain?

Answer = MY BACKYARD!

2013 garden freshly tilled

That's why a few friends of mine consistently informed me of Mel Bartholomew's method of gardening known as Square Foot Gardening. Given my rich but sandy soil, raised beds with a homemade soil mixture will eliminate an improper pH balance, it will eliminate my problems of moisture retention (lack thereof), and will stop the massive threat of pesky garden weeds, while giving me the ability to plant all the crops I planted last year with likely a greater yield. That's why this year is the year of the square foot!

I plan to document the process as thoroughly as I can for multiple reasons. First, I know many gardeners - like myself - are new to something every year. Websites that are fresh and seek to incorporate modern trends are appealing; there's just something about a website that hasn't been updated for 3-4 years that keeps me from getting involved. And newbies like me are thumbing through photos on Pinterest and Google images nonstop looking for great space-saving ideas, so if I can share something that's working for me it will likely be here.

My plan includes every single crop I planted last year and several new additions. I will layout multiple beds in various configurations, including two beds that will be 2' x 2', one for each of my kids. They are both very interested in gardening (or at least spending the time outside with me) and as a means to give the gift of knowing how to grow food, they each got to pick out 4 plants to plant and tend. We'll see how this goes.....something tells me I've just added 8 more plants to my task list.

Proposed layout for ISUCG

My gardening itch has also found me signing up for a 10' x 10' plot at a local community garden on the campus of Indiana State University. I lobbied for a sponsor at my office, Garmong Construction Services, and was given the green light, and in just a couple of weeks - pending approval of the plot - I'll be constructing our beds, mixing our Mel's Mix soil, and preparing my cool weather crops for transplanting. The goal is to donate as close to 100% of the harvest to the food pantry at my church, The Life Center.

Stay tuned for frequent updates on both my home gardening as well as our efforts at the community garden.

Dioecious plants and staminate vs pistillate

Zucchini

After only a few months of "gardening" I feel as though it's commonly known what purpose flowers serve as it relates to vegetable-bearing plants. When I think back to my first home grown plant, a bell pepper, I had no idea plants would flower, let alone what happened after they went away.

I began growing a bell pepper plant indoors from some of the seed I removed from a store bought pepper at a local grocer. The plant grew and I continued to transplant and give it time under my CFL lamps all through the night until it was in a 5-gallon bucket filling on top of our dryer. Go ahead, insert "You might be a redneck if...." here.

After what seemed an eternity, little white blossoms began popping out. I was so green to the whole process I started deadheading a couple that had lost their color only to find a pepper had began to bud inside. DOH! To make me feel even more ignorant, I had already gone through the process of hand pollinating the blossoms as I knew there were no bees, ants, or other insects inside that could accomplish this task.

Fast forward to July 2013. My garden is in full bloom: I have well over 300 tomatoes on the vine, I've already harvest zucchinis, potatoes, peppers, and more, and I am finally noticing my spaghetti squash is bearing a few squashes. I didn't know how or when exactly I would see it, but it kind of jumped out at me today just like our zucchini and cucumber plants.

Male flower (staminate)

A squash, zucchini, cucumber, pumpkin, and dozens of other vining plants - as well as trees - are what are known as a dioecious plant. This means that the male flower and the female flower appear on separate individuals and the female must be pollinated by the male in order to produce mature fruit.

The male flower, or staminate, will sit atop a long stem (depending on the plant) and appear like the picture of my spaghetti squash to the right. Once it develops stamen inside the flower it will open and appear in full bloom. This is where the pollen will form and insects will begin their job moving from male blooms to female blooms to complete the pollination process.

Female flower (pistillate)

The female flower, or pistillate, will appear exactly as the male flower but with one glaring difference -- it is sitting at the end of the fruit the plant is bearing. The unnoticeable difference is that it will not contain stamen.

The first time I realized this and actually saw it was earlier this year on my zucchini plant. I had to wait a couple of days before both the male and female flowers were open but once that occurred it was like some sort of geeky closure in my mind.

In the event you do not notice many bees, you have magically been able to rid your garden of ants, and you have poor fruit production on your plant, you can assist mother nature in the pollination process in a matter of a few seconds. Once both the male and female flowers are open, find the male and lightly swab the inside of the flower with a Q-Tip. The yellowish pollen will coat the tip of the, uh, Q, and you simply swab it on the inside of the female...kind of interesting and the way God intended the whole "process" to work, wouldn't you say?

Grow time to go time!

Striata D'Italia Squash (Baker Creek Heirloom)

A recent photo from a Facebook friend (and actual real life friend at that) reminded me that it's almost time to begin harvesting and preparing food for the shelf. My friend's ecstatic smile went right along with his huge bowl of freshly picked strawberries ready to be turned into jam.

I have been patiently waiting on more than just lettuce and mustard leaves to pull from the garden. Tomatoes are growing by the dozens weekly but it is still way too early to begin harvesting them. Our pepper plants are blossoming in great numbers, carrots are standing tall, and our potatoes are huge! Still, there's been nothing more than greens to harvest from the crop I planted.

Just this past morning, however, I finally saw our first real zucchini growing. This Italian variety (Striata D'Italia Squash) from Baker Creek is looking very promising and its neighbor (Zucchini-Golden) is also bearing a good deal of pinkie-sized edibles.

Stick around -- much more to come!

June update: good ideas, bad ideas, and unexpected fun!

Our first rose

It's been nearly one month since I last wrote anything and so far this year the garden has been predominantly my topic of choice. Since transplanting the tomatoes into the garden on May 7, I have made few changes to the garden itself but many additions.

May 7: The tomatoes were laid out and planted. Although I had to adapt my containers as time progressed (as is shown in this picture), I could not have been more pleased with the growth, especially considering this was my first year at this. I started all of my tomato, pepper, and eggplants from seed on March 1. This might have been a bit too early given the size of the seedlings as early as mid June, but I found a few containers that worked quite well.

Transplant time - the last of these goofy containers

For the tomatoes, while an empty Mussleman's (apple sauce) jar turned out to be a veeeery bad idea, an empty 2 liter pop bottle worked great. The Mussleman's jar had many depressions in the design which kept me from removing the root system and dirt. Plus, the plastic itself was so thick that even my heavy duty kitchen shears were nearly outmatched. The 2 liter bottle was a perfect solution; of course I cut the top off so it was as wide as the outer dimensions. The height of the bottle allowed me to prune the lower nodes of the stem and increase root production early (see earlier posts about transplanting techniques), and the wide mouth made it super easy to remove the root system and drop it straight in the ground. As you can see I also used plastic 44oz big gulp cups. These were not as large as the 2 liter bottles, obviously, but they offered plenty of room for root growth and were a snap when it came time to remove the roots.

The only drawback I found was the transparent nature of the bottle -- roots are delicate and the sunlight can damage them. I remedied this by wrapping the bottles in brown kraft paper which worked well. I could easily label the plants and it protected the roots...it was a win-win I guess!

California Wonder

My pepper plants didn't go outside and officially into a permanent home for another week or two. I didn't record the exact date, but they seemed to get a much slower start than the tomatoes. Looking back I know I did not provide them with enough warmth and that will definitely be a change I make in the future.

Once I did transplant them, however, I decided to experiment by planting them in two different locations: some in the garden and some in 3 gallon pails. The plants in the pails can be to be moved to the sunniest, warmest locations on my property since I'm a bit worried that my garden is too shady for peppers. Also, I took up the majority of the sunny locations with the tomatoes!

Burpee: Corn, on Deck Hybrid

My other interesting container planting is the Corn, on Deck Hybrid sweet corn. I planted this in a 3 gallon pail with approximately 2/3rd garden soil and a 1/3rd mix of horse manure and potting soil. The specs call for about 9 seeds in a 24" container, but I figured my pail was close enough. This little beauty sprouted in just 4-5 days and after one week things are looking promising. This corn should yield about 2-3 ears at 7"-8" per stalk.

With potatoes standing at just over 18" and nice blossoms beginning to pop, onions with tall, rich green shoots, cucumber, yellow and green zucchini, a spaghetti squash seedling that survived its transplant, and quite a nice selection of lettuce coming up, you would think that's just about it for a first timer like me. But I ended up finding more joy and getting a ton of excitement over my mustard plant than anything to this point.

Mustard Plant

The seeds I purchased were just $1 at a local feed store and I think the only reason I was interested in them was due to my intrigue into the parable Jesus teaches about having faith like a mustard seed. Why is this even mentioned in Scripture? Is there something extremely valuable in mustard that I do not know about? Is there an incredible health benefit to mustard? I don't know, so I thought "why not sow some mustard and see what happens?" 

I have already harvested several leaves and to my surprise they are amazing! They offer a great crispness like a good lettuce leaf, and then when you're least expecting it feels like you've just eaten a spoonful of horseradish, only mustard flavored. The leaf I have pictured here to the right I doubled over on a cheeseburger the other night. I guess there's a new saying: once you go mustard you never go back.....er, something like that.

Stay tuned -- lots more to come!

Welcome to Heritage Farm

I suppose all cool farms have a name. Therefore, I am proclaiming that the final countdown has begun - here at Heritage Farm - regarding the days before our final transplant and many direct sows.

Brown kraft paper & cardboard with bricks as weights

The garden has been tilled and weeded. I laid both cardboard and brown kraft paper over the soil to kill all remaining weeds (by choking out all sunlight) without using any chemicals. After about 2-3 weeks there are few weeds still beneath the barrier and any remnants are easily maintained once a week. Overall the soil looks good and I would say it did a great job.

Brown kraft paper is something I used in lieu of cutting cardboard boxes and sprawling them all over the garden. The alternative to expensive weed fabrics was newspapers which a lot of folks recommend. I don't subscribe to a newspaper and I already had kraft paper, so naturally it made sense.

The benefits of kraft paper:

- Rolls out easily
- Covers a large area fast
- Allows water to drip into the soil
- Blocks the sunlight
- Biodegradable
- Contains no ink or chemicals
- Durable and does not dissolve easily.

Next year I plan to make raised beds to give the garden some character, and kraft paper will be a perfect bottom liner for weed protection.

Overall our crop for this first year will consist of:

Onions (exciting, eh?)

Already in the ground and showing signs of life:

Potatoes

Onions

Mustard

Lettuce (several varieties)

Carrots

Okra

Ready for transplant:

Tomatoes: Black Cherry, Yellow Morning Sun, Money Maker, SuperSauce, Dester, and the last

minute addition was the Kellog's Beefsteak (I couldn't pass up the deal on seeds at Rural King)

Little Fingers Eggplant

Peppers: California Wonder, Carnival Mix, Lipstick, Purple Beauty, and a generic gold bell seed I sowed from a Baesler's pepper. Ironically, it is nearly the largest of all the pepper seedlings thus far.

Direct sow:

Cucumber, Green Zucchini Squash (Striata D'Italia), and Yellow Zucchini Squash, as well as Spaghetti Squash. 

Dester Tomato - Baker Creek Seed Co.

Out of all the vegetables we have slated for season one at Heritage Farm, I think the most anticipated item is the Dester tomato. This pink beefsteak was brought to America from Germany and in the 1970's, an Amish house cleaner named Anna, who was working in Berne, Indiana for a Dr. Herbert Dester, was given some of these cherished seeds. Years later Anna sold a few of the plants to Kathy McFarland, an employee of Baker Creek Seed Co. in Seymour, MO.

Today Baker Creek, Seed Savers Exchange, and other retailers, sell the Dester tomato - a juicy one and a half pound indeterminate heirloom that won 1st place in the 2011 and 2nd place in the 2012 SSE TomatoTasting Awards. While it is technically not considered a "Hoosier variety", it does have some Hoosier roots in its background, and therefore it shall have a nice sunny spot at Heritage Farm.

Surburban redneck

Suburban Redneck

You might think that's the title to the newest country song topping the charts - and don't get me wrong, I think it would fly in Nashville - but it's not. I feel as though I have entered a new stage in life.

As the picture to the right so elegantly shows, this was my driveway last weekend while continuing some remodeling on my garage. The canoe was a free gift (best kind!) I felt the trash hopper served as a great platform upon which my tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants could boast to the entire neighborhood their great growth thus far. This was after all their first real day outside in full sun and wind. Not bad for our first year at this!

The tomatoes have undergone one transplant from their self-watering seed tray. I read from several folks that once they grow their first set of true leaves it is time to move them to a larger container. I followed that advice for the eggplants and peppers as well, and so far things are doing nicely.

2013 Mystery Tomato

As for my tomatoes, I forgot to label one of them. That's kind of a bad thing since I am planning on arranging them with some form of similarity in the garden. Still, I can tell from the leaf patterns and that it is probably going to be a smaller cherry-style producer, so I went ahead and potted it. I followed the conventional wisdom of the online community and lopped-off all branches up to the top 2-3 and buried it deep. This pot is about 12" so I've experienced some great growth in just the last 3 weeks. On March 26 I updated that I had moved the grow lights about 6" -- since that time the plants have nearly doubled in size from about 8" with most of the stalks maturing to a good 1/4" in diameter.

Ollie with the chicks at Rural King

This spring has also been fun with the kids. Not only have they been helping out in garden (as much as a 5 and 3 year old can) but we've also spent several afternoons and evenings together strolling the aisles of Rural King and "seeing the chicks" as they like to say. Here is Ollie, our youngest, in a rare moment of calmness -- usually he is running the aisles calling out "here chicky chicky" and getting them to make their little chicky sounds.

Other than that our lettuce varieties are beginning to show signs of life and our onions are sporting some nice sprouts as well. Soon we should be seeing some potato leaves and carrots...we can't wait!

Lights, camera, GROW!

Grow light: high output fluorescent light, insulated base, surrounding blanket

What an absolute difference the PROPER elements make in growing seeds. As I posted in my previous entry, temperature - meaning soil temperature, not room temperature - is the key to growing.

My previous location was an old bookshelf in the kitchen. Aside from the hideous 1964 wallpaper backdrop, I noticed the base cups in which my plants are growing was cool to the touch. One seed distributor actually a warming mat designed for the indoor growers like myself, and I of course scoffed at what a wast of money that must be.

However, last week, with transplants successfully growing but not at the rate I would have imagined, much slower in fact, I realized that I had missed the importance on soil temperature and both my transplants and yet-to-emerge seedlings were paying the price.

I set-up a new location (pictured above). With a few scrap 2x4's to support the cross piece, I mounted a high output fluorescent shop light over my plants, and the results were exactly what I was hoping for. What you see above is after one week in this new home: the cups house a variety of tomatoes and by the sixth day had grown into the light bulbs, one leaf was literally extending and making contact with it. The bulb was initially placed approximately 4" above the highest leaf, so I can conclude that I witnessed approximately 4" of growth, from one plant at least, in just one week.

The tray on the right-hand side of this image shows several seedlings that have emerged as well. There you see a combination of tomatoes that had not yet broken the surface or just barely, as well as my peppers (CA Wonder & Lipstick) that have not only sprouted but are showing a second set of leaves and great color.

Note to self: TEMPERATURE, TEMPERATURE, TEMPERATURE!

1 week, 2 week, 3 week, transplant!

Several tomatoes of both hybrid and heirloom varieties

Three weeks down and I have already made it to the transplant stage, well at least as it relates to my tomatoes.

This first year of vegetable gardening is quite the experiment in our household. While I have done my absolute best to follow the general consensus of tomato gardeners with a wealth of knowledge and experience, I have still managed to successfully nurture eight mature tomato starts (pictured above) with several more still in an infant stage.

SuperSauce Hybrid, Burpee

But what I have found with this first year of planting has been interesting to say the very least. Immediately I saw these eight seedlings (pictured above) develop their first two leaves within 8-9 days. While others in my tray broke the soil surface a few days later, of the 8 pictured, 3 are marked "Super Sauce" which is the SuperSauce Hybrid from Burpee. Claimed to be the world's largest sauce tomato, this hybrid should produce a 22-32oz tomato that should make for a great addition to salads, hamburgers, and assuming we don't run out of ambition, homemade ketchup and salsa.

While Burpee was the prominent supplier of seeds in some of our local retailers, I was also encouraged to try Baker Creek Heirloom Seeds of Mansfield, MO. Here I found many great heirloom varieties from which to choose such as: Dester, Moneymaker, Black Cherry, A Grappoli D’Inverno, and the Yellow Morning Sun.

Dester (pink) heirloom, Baker Creek

In addition to many great varieties of vegetables, Baker Creek has also provided me with some excellent customer service and one-on-one email support, despite how "green" my green thumb is. For example, I asked why many of my seedlings had begun to sprout but many - even those planted in the exact same conditions - had not? Randel, a customer service representative responded, "Temperature is critical. Tomatoes sprout very quickly at 80-85 degrees, more slowly below 75, and erratically and very slowly below 70 degrees. And we're talking about soil temp here, which is going to approximate the average between the daily minimum and maximum air temperature."

I know, many of you could have told me that, but the fact that it was conveyed to me, a first-time customer and relative "nobody" to the folks at Baker Creek, in such detail and within only 1-2 days of asking really says a lot. To be quite fair, I have posed a question or two to the folks at Burpee and received prompt responses as well, but there was just another level of comfort I felt from Randel and the folks at Baker Creek.

I guess in the end all that matters is that I prep my soil, wait for the last frost date, and actually take care of my garden once the plants are in the ground, and nature should do the rest; unless she decides to stop all of a sudden with me!

Mold and eggshells: tips for tomatoes I never would have guessed

Throughout my quest to understand this new endeavor of gardening, I have already encountered several "tips of the trade" that seem almost counter intuitive. Oddly enough, they all seem to revolve around tomato plants.

Bury it deep

One of the most basic things I encountered was the idea of cutting all branch growth from the stem up to the top 2 or 3 viable leaves (or nodes) at time of planting, then actually burying the base of the plant deep, so that only those top leaves are exposed. Plant starts seem so delicate that I couldn't have imagined literally cutting them up before planting them. The only plant I can recall burying deep like this was my first clematis plant. Also, the fibrous hairs growing off the stem are potential roots, so the more you get below the surface, the more faster your tomato plant will grow.

Shallow beds

In cases where raised beds are being used, and you cannot bury your plant 12" deep and allow it grow down another 12" or more, you can actually bury it horizontally. Start by cropping the lower branches the same as previously mentioned, dig a trench horizontally in your dirt, lay the root and stem in the trench, and gently bend the top leaves vertically so they are pointing to the sky. The roots will find soil no matter where it is, so as long as you have done your work properly there, it should be okay.

Collecting seeds
 

This is one of the more intriguing processes I encountered. Most fruits and vegetables have a general area of seed growth, and tomatoes are no different; just open one up and you'll know what I mean. The seeds are neatly arranged from the center columella, or core, in the locular cavity contained in a gel-like substance called gelatinous membrane. It's fun to collect seeds and figure out how to actually maneuver them -- this stuff sticks to EVERYTHING! I found that dropping the seeds into a strainer/sifter works well.

What was interesting was the variations I found for removing seeds. Perhaps the most odd of all is the fermentation process. You start by putting all the seeds and gel-like membrane into a jar, cover it with about 1"-2" of water and allow if ferment in a sunny window for 1-2 weeks. This will produce a moldy scum on the top and aid in killing any bacteria that might have affected any of the seeds. Strain it, rinsing the mold and membrane from the seed, then allow the seeds to dry on a brown paper bag or plate for 1-2 weeks.

Eggshells
 

I would never have imagined combining eggshells with the planting process. However, it turns out that eggshells are a great way to add extra nutrients (calcium) to your tomato plants, and the even act as a slug deterrent at the same time. One quick place I looked was ehow and this is the recipe offered.

From Books to Dirt: a new chapter begins

Colored bell peppers (Ben Douglas)

February 1, 2013: My undergraduate work is complete, our boys are out of diapers, I have a full-time job in place, our debts are paid off, and it's now time to dive head first into a new phase of my life. This year I am eagerly anticipating sowing the first of many seeds for our vegetable garden, and as I prepare for this, I can't help but think back to my childhood.

I have always been one to admire the sights, smells, and overall craft of a gardener's touch. As a young boy I remember numerous times chasing basketballs, baseballs, footballs, and golf balls into our neighbor's garden. They were the classic traditional older couple next door with an apropos Midwestern last name, Smith. I recall numerous times how Mrs. Smith would bring over handfuls of cucumbers, peppers, and various squash varieties, or my mother walking across the yard with an empty bowl to pick fresh tomatoes.

My grandmother (my mom's side) - who died in 1978 just before she could meet me - was a teacher, farmer, preserver, and canner, of the things I know about her. She brought her love of farming with the family farm from Alexandria, Indiana in the 1960's, along-with all of her blue glass Ball canning jars and the family dog, when my grandpa began his tenure in the school of education at Indiana State University.

Although I couldn't be paid to eat a vegetable as a kid, and never really learned to appreciate the fresh taste of a crisp harvest until at least turning 30, I still loved the aroma of the Smith's garden as it eminated across our lawn from the north.

When my parents moved us out of town a few miles into the country, my mother finally had enough room to design a garden and begin harvesting for herself. I helped dad haul the rail ties home that would become her raised beds, and we nailed them together at the joints. Next, we laid the weed barrier felt, I helped him haul the river rock and spread it, and of course we hauled in several wheel barrow loads of dirt for the initial planting. Along-with tomatoes and other various vegetables and herbs, our property was also full of numerous flowering annuals and perennials until the annual fall frost hit.

Skipping ahead several years, after my grandfather passed away, my wife and I moved into his home. The first four years we basically spent updating the home he and his wife had decorated, but that he hadn't changed since her death. While most of the home was easily changed with the stroke of a paintbrush after many long hours peeling wallpaper, one of the areas I hardly ever ventured into was the attic. 

Glass jar collection (Ben Douglas)

The majority of things up there was just typical "old stuff," but after deciding to design and prepare a garden, I remembered I had previously run across something that would serve as a great inspiration for me: grandma's blue glass Ball "Perfect Mason" canning jars.

They were just at the top of the steps and upon realizing this I immediately lowered the attic ladder, climbed it, and brought them down. I spent an entire afternoon soaking them in warm soapy water and rinsing off the dust and cobwebs. But beyond the Ball Perfect Mason blue glass jars were several other: one Ball Ideal, one Atlas Perfect mason, one Presto Duraglass, and numerous clear glass Ball Perfect Mason (some round and some square) and unmarked jars with both regular and wide mouths.

Large Ball Blue canning jars (Ben Douglas)

After cleaning the kitchen sink and allowing the jars to dry, these sparkling collectibles are now perched on the bottom two shelves of grandma and grandpa's antique hutch in our living room.

While the temptation to use some of these is growing increasingly strong in me, I know realistically that many of them will remain in either the hutch as a mere decoration or possibly move to the kitchen to hold sugar or coffee.

ATTENTION ALL DADS....DID YOU HEAR THAT???"

A recent article form The Telegraph (UK) cites something pretty interesting regarding the role of "dad" most men are absent from these days. The article states:

"When it comes to Christmas, it might be safe to assume children will ask Santa for an extensive list of toys, games and treats.

But a survey of their typical lists for Father Christmas has shown many have more serious concerns, requesting "a dad" instead.

A study of 2,000 British parents found most children will put a new baby brother or sister at the top of their Christmas list, closely followed by a request for a real-life reindeer.

A "pet horse" was the third most popular choice, with a "car" making a bizarre entry at number four.

Despite their material requests, the tenth most popular Christmas wish on the list was a 'Dad'" (Furness, 2012).

Now, my initial reaction to this is that of the classic line from Ace Ventura, "Leh hoo ze herr". How in the world could things have gotten so bad that children, in the UK at least, would put a DAD near the top of their list for Santa Claus?

Seriously, stop and think about this for a moment. If you grew up with a father I bet you could think of 100 things to ask Santa for, and when you ran out of ideas of the things you would like to have, a dad wouldn't have even been a flashing thought in your mind. Perhaps "spending more time with dad" would make a distant spot in your top 50, but just simply "DAD" as an average top 10 placement -- that points to a serious problem. My wife said that she remembered her father (a business man) telling her something to the effect of "All you have to do is just show up on time and do your job...that will make you stand out!"

"ATTENTION ALL DADS....DID YOU HEAR THAT???"

Perhaps there were several participants who had lost their fathers prematurely to an illness or accident? Perhaps this points to the "collateral damage" of gay marriage? Perhaps this gets at a deeper issue, one that some might simply write off as an "unintended consequence" of science interfering in biology?

We could inductively seek the answer, and that's just what our society does these days. We (at least the media) search for the cause behind the effect. Just like the shooters in Connecticut, Colorado, Fort Hood, and Columbine, we seek out every possible missing variable to solve the equation. And while that might be good, I can't help but think that sometimes we just simply don't want to deal with the reality of the situation. Our society today is going into a moral decline.

Granted this study was conducted in England, but can Americans really vouch for the men in their own country as being much better; on average? Ethics, manners, hard work, and taking responsibility seem to be missing from the equation today. It almost sounds antiquated and sad to suggest that our schools need to teach etiquette, but it used to be taught in school. I can assure you that such subjects are being taught to our kids. Call us old fashioned. It is pathetic to even think that children need to be taught how to earn their lot in life, but our society seems bent on breeding a nation of people knocking on their neighbor's door with an empty plate in their hands expecting it to be filled, not a rake or shovel in hand asking if they need any help.

Are these sentiments really just too old fashioned? Am I barking up a tree that was planted in the 1800's, or am I on the cusp of tomorrow's great awakening? Men in general need to get with it. Grab a shovel when you get home tonight, walk next door, (if you have kids take them with you!) and clear off your neighbor's driveway. Not because you think the widow inside will give you $20 so you can go buy lottery tickets, do it because you want to model hard work - or God forbid a little charity - to tomorrow's generation. Do it because you are young enough to still do it. Do it because you are out of shape and need some exercise. I don't care what the reason or motivation is that you find, just do it!

Do you remember the PSA/commercials that said, "Take time and be a dad"? I can do them one better. How about "Take time and learn to be a man" first? How about that, America?

Furness, H. (2012). Retrieved December 26, 2012 from site; http://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/christmas/9764688/A-dad-is-tenth-most-popular-Christmas-list-request-for-children.html.

Snow, wind, ice, Walmart hell, spilled milk: but most of all thanks

Last evening was the first of what I hope to be many wonderful years of Christmas time memories. We decorated Christmas cookies. I know, I know, that's so cliché to say. Isn't decorating cookies as a family a requirement - at least once - while your kids are young?

There's something so magical about the build-up to the moment. If you're family is like ours, you go to the store to buy the ingredients because you don't have them in the cupboard like most. One person takes the kids (in this case it was me) while the other stays at home making last minute preparations, and the one doing the shopping calls the one at home to ask what ingredients are needed, only to have to wait for the person at home to get on Recipe Czar and find out.

Once you get to the store, in our case it was Walmart, you walk the aisles of the grocery section finding the perfect ingredients. Passing the baking powder, you spend five minutes looking for vanilla, you forget about the sprinkles and various colorful toppings, you go to the back of the store to get the butter, come back to the front to find candy, and eventually you have it all...once you go back through the middle of the grocery and find the baking powder. Then, after you find all of these ingredients, you realize - just in time - that you don't have cookie cutters. So you walk nearly every square inch of Walmart looking for cutters only to find that they placed an entire aisle of Christmas cookie decorating supplies, complete with cookie cutters (and baking powder), in an aisle next to the linens. Of course! Towels, picture frames, cookie supplies.

After you fight through the throngs of the other 2,000 last-minute gift and supplies shoppers, pay for your goods, get the kids' coats back on, and dredge the cart through the slushy wintery mix that blasted your town during the past hour of Walmart hell, you can finally head home to begin your homemade Rockwell Christmas.

Inside, Tony Bennett, Harry Connick, Jr. and Barry Manilow adorn your Spotify playlist. You find your rolling pin that was thrown in the back of the cabinet after regretfully doing this last year; you clear off the counter top and the magic begins. Batch after batch of crispy golden Christmas delight comes out of the oven. The kids are hopped-up on cream cheese icing by now, the tops of the sugar sprinkle canisters are clogged with icing because your youngest - if he's like mine - can't quit doing sugar shots with them, and momma is already dreading 4 more batches that daddy is preparing to pull out of the oven.

Then it happens. The final cookie is frosted, sprinkled, and topped with a non-traditional Hershey's Kiss. The kids are shuffled down the hallway to the bathroom to have their faces, hands, forearms, foreheads, hair, ears, necks, elbows, and bellies, wiped off before going to bed. They crash from the massive sugar high they have been riding, the house quiets and mom and dad get some time to clean up and have a couple of cookies in peace.

But there was something about this year that made me pause over and over, whether I was in Walmart jockeying for those Hershey's Kisses or pulling the icing spoon from my youngest child's clasp again and again. It was a thought that caused me to continuously give thanks to God for the blessings and memories we were enjoying before our eyes, and not get hung up on a messy kitchen or frosting-stained children and clothes.

It was the thought of all of those who don't get the opportunity to spend Christmas with their children this year. While I warm my bones from fighting the slushy parking lot at Walmart to go home and decorate cookies with my family, many families on the east coast have no home at all. While I dig my cart of kids and groceries through the snow, 28 graves are being dug in Connecticut. The list of analogies could go on and on, but I wanted to take a moment and ask you all to be thankful during the busyness of the holidays.

Be thankful if you are able to watch your kids open presents around your tree on Christmas morning. Be thankful if you have those 4 or 5 basic ingredients for a batch of cookies, as well as the basic ingredients that make a complete family. We can go crazy and flip out over the proverbial spilled milk, or we can be glad that we have little ones after which to clean up. We can go crazy and flip out over the long lines at Walmart, or we can be glad that we have the funds and resources to go shopping. We can be filled with anger and a little bit of rage while we drive 20mph below the speed limit on our way home in windy and icy conditions, or we can be thankful that we still have a house to walk into and call home.

Take a few minutes after you read this to pause and give thanks.

Merry Christmas!